Family
my brother’s birthday
Mary Pat reports that it is also Doug’s birthday, an opportunity to pray. I don’t even seem to have an email for David. Well, I’ve tried Facebook, which hasn’t worked in the past to get a response.+ Mary Pat father death day : kaddishHelp me to know how to support, when to lead, How to follow.
- telling the folks and friends, little by little
- Dave Coleman : is basic goodness came through, with congratulations and an invitation to a party
personal
cyclone from middle of night, like wb Yeats, “widening gyre.”March 9
PSALM 85:13 ISAIAH 6 :-4 LUKE 14:15-24
What is both Good and New about the Good News is the wild claim that Jesus did simply tell us that not God loves us even in our wickedness and folly and wants us to love each other the same way and to love Him too, but that if we let Him, God will actually bring about this unprecedented transformation of our hearts Himself.
What is both Good and New about the Good News is that mad insistence that Jesus lives on among us not just as another haunting memory but as the outlandish, holy, and invisible power of God working not just through the sacraments but in countless
hidden ways to make even slobs like loving and us whole beyond anything we could conceivably pull off by ourselves.
Thus the Gospel is not only Good and New but if you take it seriously, a Holy Teror Jesus never claimed that the process of being changed from a slob into a human being was going to be a Sunday School picnic. On the contrary. Child-birth may occasionally be painless, but rebirth never. Part of what it means to be a slob is to hang on for dear life to our slobbery.
Frederick Buechner
Reading
Reference
Kuana Torres Kahele (esp. Hallelujah” on youtube. This is marvelous Hawaiian slack key guitar and singing that we should take with us on our move.
Youtube
Reflection
I remember discussions from seminary days and beyond, about the notion that there was such a thing as a mere symbol.Symbols I would point out are by nature powerful and there is nothing mere about them. So, too, is God him/her-self. Either God is powerful, able to change things and persons, able to create out of nothing even, or the most unlikely of created things, – or else God isn’t God.
It seems as if there is a Catholic/Protestant divide here as well. The difference between ontological change and ??.# flow of energy from a class that works
I was apprehensive going into my class. It’s a familiar feeling. I felt it for church services. I felt it last Saturday for the funeral. I have felt it anytime I was going to be the focus. Teaching included.
Then as things begin, I feel myself on fire. I burn. Some are reporting that Wesley didn’t say these things. It doesn’t matter whether he said them or only false attributors said them. The test is in whether they are true or not.
“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.”
― John Wesley
“Catch on fire and others will love to come watch you burn.”
― John Wesley
“Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn.”
― John Wesley
“I set myself on fire and people come to watch me burn.”
― John Wesley
“Get on fire for God and men will come and see you burn.”
― John Wesley
a reading to go further?
From Margaret Silf, The Other Side of Chaos: Breaking Through When Life Is Breaking Down, Loyola Press.On the challenges of life. When we are in transition, depending on how serious the breakdown is, we may feel as though almost every aspect of life has been disrupted. The old certainties, the old habits and comfort zones, have been dive-bombed. The old home, the old job, the old “me,” may be almost gone. It may be the time to ask, “What is that essential core of who I am that remains through all this upheaval?” This is an important question, because it is this remnant that will be the starter for the new stage of our growth.
Truly I must ask what is the essential out of which I shall build?
The plants look nice on the new shelves I got yesterday. # dream
Deeper
different levels of fear
- I awoke from a dream in which we were at a party. Perhaps a party for us. Our leaving? There were 20-30 guests. Kind of a mountain cabin kind of place. Mary Pat saw 3 male friends. She went over to get them, and I saw that she was wearing only a small pair of underpants. And she getting her guests by turning around as if she were showing off a nice new dress.
- as we parked last night after our little St Patrick’s party, she made reference to how having only 8 at the table was a Hawaii thing. She implied that in SC we would have 100. I said I wouldn’t do well hosting a party for 100.
- we had heard at the dinner last night that some, Bernie?, think that Mary Pat is the problem. That frightens me
- I exploded with feeling at Kapono at the way the administration has treated us. It was not about Kapono, but my anger frightened me.
- I am so afraid of my class. Social studies especially. I have them for 80 minutes. They know so much more than I about teaching. And they are not very interested in learning about social studies.
- convicted-murderer-finds-redemption-training-dogs-to-help-autistic-kids/
Watch Donovan “simple joys” Northumbria prayer March 18
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKFbB_kqpDI&feature=youtube_gdata_player
yesterday
The 23rd was my Dad’s birthday.annunciation
Today the calendar reminds me. It hits me more than usual as we seek to navigate past the conflict of the last two days and incorporate the additional members of this little community.intersection of my skills and world’s need
a link I have saved points to something I could see me doing in rock Hill. Regroup is an acronym for a nonprofit organization in Austin that gets refurbished computers into the hands of disadvantaged kids.http://www.reglue.org/
two signals
- Tonight I didn’t want the dynamic of listening to vary to lay all night. Trying to fix a dinner 2 trying to mix it up
- Reading was saying I can’t take any more. #dream
writing possibility
Mary Pat listened to me tell the story of Ronnie McDonald and laughed that she had never heard the story before. She said she lived about me that all the marginalized people I have known were real people to me.- Ronnie
- Susan
- the young couple who were coming to Bible study
- Oki’s
- Spanish couple
- bipolar woman
- the schizophrenic man
- “I’m back refugee from New Orleans”
triangle
- rescuer becomes
- persecutor becomes
- victim
from prayer
There seemed a theme of remembering fathers. Both of our fathers have been gone a long time. Mary Pat’s almost half her life. I thought of mine that his impact on my life has been far more salutary in the years since his death than of those before. My asked if I had any memory of parents taking us to a place like this retreat on Kauai. At first I said, “No.” But then I thought that, yes, in the 60s, my memory is of dad trying to provide these kinds of vacations. Other than that he was mostly absent from our lives. I was hardly appreciative of the sacrifice and gesture that he made. # dreamWorking to get away from some where. CUH? The way out was via a puzzle like experience. I felt satisfaction in working together with Mary Pat on the puzzle. She is way better, but she wouldn’t have completed it without me. 1
Motivation
I am not very motivated to do this grading. I feel so utterly overwhelmed by the task, knowing that the two courses in which I face students is lurking right around the corner.
common prayer
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a twentieth-century Jesuit philosopher,prayed, “Since once again, Lord, I have neither bread nor Wine nor altar, I will raise myself beyond these symbols, up to the pure majesty of the real itself; I, your priest, will make the Whole earth my altar and on it will offer you all the labors and suffering of the World.”
Finding my way? Neither home nor away.
Though we are home, we are on our way.
Your face restores my smile.
I rub your foot.
My fingernails in your scalp.
We have miles and days to go.
Like the lighthouse at Lihue,
You are a beacon, a beckon, and companion.
Thanks be to God.
Citizenship in a Republic
is the title of a speech given by the former President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt at the Sorbonne in Paris, France on April 23, 1910. 2One notable passage on page seven of the 35-page speech is referred to as “The Man in the Arena”:2
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
What is it with the anxiety I feel about going before the students. Mary Pat is concerned about, wanting to reduce my evident pain. It may be that it goes hand in hand with the exhilaration I feel after a successful class. It makes me think of the story I have repeated about Cher and her throwing up before each performance.
what is pornography?
the wolf of wall Street seems to me unredeeming because there is no change in the character. He was always only out for himself and after betraying his friends and a short time in jail, he seems to have successfully resumed his ways. What kind of message is that? # teaching stressWhat is it with the anxiety I feel about going before the students. Mary Pat is concerned about, wanting to reduce my evident pain. It may be that it goes hand in hand with the exhilaration I feel after a successful class. It makes me think of the story I have repeated about Cher and her throwing up before each performance.
- http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizenship_in_a_Republic # teaching stress ↩
- http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizenship_in_a_Republic # teaching stress ↩
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