March 8

Reading about Anne Hauerwas

The account Hannah’s Child is quite stunningly reminiscent of life with Bridget. “Double bind” games. Yet, it seems a little like Stanley is a little self serving in his account, even as I have thought I was probably being self protective in my own accounts. Wikipedia and An article.
I just have no doubt that I have had to live with craziness, and yet I haven’t figured it out quite so succinctly as has Stanley. Also, I am jealous of the fact that he evidently didn’t lose his children, but probably I should leave that aside for the moment. I am afraid for Lydia and Emma. After all, a significant part of his story is the connection between Anne’s history and her mother’s. What will be the legacy of all of this to the girls? Mary Pat is quick to point to them as the real victims in all of this.
But I could just try to dwell on my struggle to get free from over 20 years’ life with craziness that is still not perceived as craziness by some. I need to note that my spiritual director of some 7-8 years was an early advocate that I was living in a toxic environment that was self-destructive.
The other night we watched the movie The Talented Mr. Ripley in which Matt Damon plays a “socio-path.” Ebert had said of the movie that it was “excellent” because we identified with the protagonist, even though he was evil. Mary Pat and I commented on how he came out a winner, in the end, and against our every expectation. From the first murder on I anticipated the moment when his world would come crashing down. Instead, at the end of the movie, it seemed very likely that not only had he escaped judgment but that he had found success.